We were picked today, but...

A mother made a birth plan for her child today with our family. We almost went home with her little bebe. Even though we did not meet the mom or baby, Kevin and I had a good feeling, and still feel connected to her, even given what little we know of her story. Due to much information I do not (and should not) know, and much less information that I cannot share, I presume the babe went home with another family. Laws. Interpretation.

(Also, thank goodness there wasn't anything wrong with us. Well, nothing very seriously wrong with us, anyway. :))

I'm stunned. Stunned at the capacity for hope in this strong, thudding, human heart of mine.

I really had no idea what a roller coaster ride this would be. The ups and downs are dizzying. Terrifying. So incomprehensibly exciting.

It's kinda about us; how sad and disappointed we are. But it's mostly about them: I pray for this mother and her baby, and the new mother and father. Pray for smooth transition and abundant love. Pray that the baby will know the story of his/her powerful, protective, loving mother.

While watching little M play with dolls today saying emphatically "do not take my baby away!" I couldn't help but think of the other little one's birthmother. Did she feel like screaming that?

Suprisingly, my tears have not yet come. But I feel them in my throat. And in my heart.

Tonight, I stumbed upon hope in this Blog called "Living the Lectionary." And I love this image:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Hope.

Future.

Thank you.

Amen.