Another ONE

Yes, another miscarriage. 

I simultaneously feel shock, awe.  And an odd, numbing familiarity.

I feel tears stuck in my throat. An odd resignation.

No surprise.  Confirmation of current knowledge.

Anger at the brokenness of our bodies, nonetheless.

I hear babies crying.  (Well, figuratively, just so you don't send me to the loonie bin.)

It's different to find out you're having a miscarriage before you found out you were pregnant.

Malia is the miracle.

Thank God for her.

Hope lives for a life grown in another womb, to join our family.  Someday.

Thanksgiving

What motivates you?  What keeps you going through challenges?  How do you embrace the moment while you wait?  What pushes you forward, spurs you on?

On this Canadian Thanksgiving weekend I'm thankful for:

Music.  All types.  These are just some of my favorites, old and new.  Sinead O'Connor.  Sara Bareilles.  Music Together.  Beastie Boys.  Public Enemy.  

Support systems.  They are fabulous.  They are not for the weak, but for the strong.  We were created to crave community, belonging, speaking and listening.  Caring.  Helping.

Nature.  Thank you God for it.  Its complexity, its fragility, its intricacies, its beauty.  

Family and community.  Thank you for thriving cities, art, dance, concerts, teachers, and all people that improve communities, care for others, provide encouragement and bring about improvement.

Quotes are bits of shared wisdom.  These quotes have been particular meaningful to me within this last week:

I am thankful that I am parenting.  I love being a mother.  Exhaustion.  Overwhelming joy.  Peace.  Chaos.  Laughter.  I love the bliss of experiencing a new body and soul growing into herself.

I love being an educator.  There is always something more to learn, some assistance to provide, another way to listen, to share, to collaborate.  I love electronic tools and new ways of thinking that increase efficiency and effectiveness for students and teachers every day.  I am motivated by turning data into information to inform instruction and increase learning.  

I love life.  This messy, painful, joyous existence.  It surely is a gift.  

I am thankful.