Heavy in Your Arms by Florence and the Machine
Chop and Change by The Black Keys
and With you in My Head by UNKLE
It's true; they may not sound like memorial songs. The movie and music helped me escape or experience my searing pain, anger and sorrow, depending on what I needed at the time.
And lately I sing this song to myself frequently: Precious Lord Take My Hand.
This may sound incongruous, but that's the story of the human experience. Well, it's the story of mine, anyway.
Last year at this time Kevin and I were:
Worried
Excited
PREGNANT.
One year ago yesterday our baby died. I floated in the deepest ocean of sorrow. Her name is Lily. She lived a short time, but our hopes and dreams for her were beyond measure. She would have been five months old right now.
And her other sister that went to heaven far too early would now be 1 1/2; her name is Eva (eh-vah).
Some people call them angel babies. All I know is that they were our children. And I know it is the purest love.
I'm thankful.
I remember.
I'm pensive about what could have been.
